Location: Hayling Island is located between Portsmouth and Chichester on England's south coast. It's a real island with just one road on and off, and it gets rather busy in the summer. To get there take the M27 or A3M to Bedhampton and head east along the A27. Take the next exit to Havant and follow the signs.

Despite once having been voted "Britain's Worst Holiday Resort", Hayling Island is rather good for pinball games. They're nearly all found in the fun fair at the western end of the island.

Beside the pinball games, there are several other amusements and rides mainly catering to smaller children and a large tent-like structure which helped keep the rain off.

There's also a rickety roller coaster where the scares aren't from the dips and dives of the track, but the fear that you might be unexpectedly parting company with it at any moment. Nobody died while we were there, but there's no sign saying "x days since last fatality" so make your own mind up!

There are some more arcades at the eastern end of the Island, but there are only a couple of pins there and probably not worth the detour. Until quite recently they had about 5 80's Bally games such as Flash, Xenon and Black Knight all at 10p/game but sad to say these have now gone so I'll stop teasing you with the thought.

Our reports come from three Pinball News readers:

Jon Ashley visited at the end of August 2005 and gives us his detailed report.

After my update on the shenanigans at the Amusement Arcades of Portsmouth and Southsea, I thought this time to get an update on what is going on at the Beachlands Amusement park in Hayling Island,just a stone throw along the cost from Portsmouth.

Since the last update, the Beachlands Arcade is no more. Closed, boarded up and now for sale. Seems the Amusement Arcade is no longer profitable and a familiar story. So we have only 3 arcades at Hayling Island – 2 of which have Pinball machines.   Our first stop was the Funland Arcade – the biggest of the 3 remaining. Being a bank holiday, the place was very busy.

The Fairground was busy in particular, with lots of people here on holiday. The weather was pretty much OK – sunshine and light breeze so I was expecting to find the arcade full to the brim.

Upon entering, the first thing that hits you is the noise and the heat – no air conditioning and machines on maximum volume! I made my way to where the Pinball tables were located and found the following machines.

In a row, Addams Family, Star Trek:TNG, Indiana Jones, Red and Ted's Roadshow, Demolition Man and Attack from Mars. So a good quantity.   Surprisingly only one was in use which was Roadshow, so I started with Attack from Mars.   They are not located in the best place with fluorescent tubes immediately above creating some nasty reflections.

Attack from Mars is not one of my favourite machines, but I wanted to put it through it's paces. 50p for 2 credits was quite generous so I started the game.

Everything seemed to work OK, then I noticed the left flipper was not returning home properly, and the suspect marks on the table told me it was dragging on the surface.   This made most shots to the right of the table pretty much guess work – not good.   The actual table itself was in pretty good condition, the display bright, the sound VERY loud, someone in this place loves noise. Interestingly enough this machine has replaced Congo which was here originally about 8 weeks ago. You can tell the machine was craving attention. 3 matches in a row – very odd!

Next in the line was Demolition man. Not a massive favourite but good fun nonetheless.   The instant issues with this machine were noticeable immediately – a really dirty playfield. In fact some of the images on the playfield were so dirty you could hardly make them out.   Playing the machine faired no better. Weak flippers, slow play due to the dirt, a badly corroded set of balls. Most shots were just luck, so many times a ball started to go up a ramp only to come back immediately. Very disappointing. In fact I played the machine for no more than 5 minutes before putting it down to a lost cause.   And to top it all, one of the gun triggers refused to work also. Same price though; 50p for 2 credits.

One of the all time classics next: Indiana Jones.   I think most people will agree that this machine needs to be in tip top condition for it to play well. It was the most expensive of the games though at 50p a go.   Upon playing the first thing you will notice is that the “deaf” arcade owner forgot to turn this one up – the sounds were barely audible due to the noise coming from the arcade and even more noise coming from the bowling lanes directly behind the pins.   Again, the playfield was filthy and this instantly restricted gameplay with the ball acting sluggishly for the entire credit.

From what I could see there were some chipped plastics and rubbers really needed replacing. The flippers were OK but you could tell they weren't perfect, and some of the bulbs had obviously blown. A real shame for such a good machine. I almost felt like leaving 3 bottles of Novus.

Our next pin was Star Trek the Next Generation. Now I own this machine so I guess you could call me critical of any others. Just like Indiana Jones, ST:TNG needs to be tip top condition for it to function correctly.

But first of all, the thing that really made me cringe was the appalling paint job! Yes, someone had taken some bright paints to all the playfield models – and they look absolutely terrible.

As you can see this picture shows you what travesty has happened here. Forget the fact the playfield was again filthy and in a desperate need of a clean, the paintjob was just well, embarrassing! The cannons reminded me of a Mark III Ford Escort XR3i paintjob – the one with go faster stripes.

It wasn't just the cannons that had suffered but also the Klingon and Romulan ships had not escaped – this picture does not show too well the colour of the Bird of Prey, but believe me it was green. Very, very green. With red tips. Oh dear…At least the Borg ship and Shuttle had escaped. I just hope it's not on the “to do” list.

Playing the machine revealed little in the way of defects, the machine played well, at least someone had fitted a cliffy protector proving at one time they did have some sense.

Next on the list was the Addams Family.   Personally I have never really understood the fuss over this game. It's good, but not that good.   Any way, from my playing this was the most disappointing and the machine most in need of TLC. The plastic was missing on the blue plate, rubbers were damaged and once again, you guessed it, the playfield was dirty.   The left flipper was weaker than the right and the plunger needs an urgent rebuild – it just about managed to get the ball onto the playfield.   Another machine that falls short of the condition it should be in.

So finally, now that the other player has left I got back to Roadshow to have a go.   I actually quite like this game, just for its comedy. Everything seems fine, apart from a very dirty playfield and very dirty playfield toys so I put my money in for a credit.   As soon as the machine started I noticed Red wasn't feeling too good. With every movement of his mouth, so his whole head moved too! Very off putting. I think this one needs to be tightened up!!   There were some bulbs out on this one, but most annoying was the right plunger which was really weak again needing a rebuild. I had a good go though.

Next I moved across to the other arcade – separate to Funland, but does have one pinball.   But I have to ask myself why they bothered.   Here is a lone Fish Tales. And I have to say this has to be one of the most poorly maintained machines I have ever experienced. The playfield was so dirty (picture does not show – sorry!) you could hardly read some of the words and see any of the pictures.   The flippers were weak, bulbs out all over the place, rubbers missing or broken and the sound down so low, it was barely audible. I really felt like calling the Pinball Police.

A real shame to treat a brilliant game like this. In the 20 minutes I was in there, only I was brave enough to play it. No-one else touched it – and it wasn't difficult to see why.

The last arcade on the beachfront used to have about 8 machines at one time. Alas, they have now disappeared completely for the sake of Fruit Machines. So I left disappointed.

So all in all, the machines at Hayling, although a good collection, really do need some urgent work to bring them back to full glory. You can tell that pinball is not a priority here. So much so that the machines could be seen as neglected. It just says to me they don't make any money, so why waste time on them. Annoyingly it wouldn't take more than an hour each machine (and some Nitromors for ST:TNG) to get them back to 100%. When I I return, I'll let you know what has or hasn't been done. I fear the emphasis will be on “hasn't”.

Andy Thomson went to Hayling Island in August 2004 and brought us this report.

Hayling Island is good for Machines.

The main Funland arcade on the seafront has an Addams Family, Attack From Mars, Star Trek The Next Generation, Demolition Man, Roadshow and Indiana Jones in row - I couldn't believe my luck - though a couple of the machines were a bit tired, they were all 30p a go - bargain!

Only £12 for the ferry from Portsmouth - worth it to find four of the top ten machines in one place at one time and all working. Great for comparison.

Bit geeky but three of us were there and rated all machines on the categories that you find on the IPDB site - most surprisingly was: we all had Attack from Mars down as the most uninspiring out of the six to look at - the one we would least like to play on sight - but it took top marks across the board in game play. So you can't always go on first impressions when it comes to these things.

Adams family is a good one but what is all the fuss about with the Indiana Jones machine? No matter how good a movie is it can't make a dull game a top 10!

There's a second arcade next door that has a very tired Fish Tales machine in it.

Andy D went to Hayling Island in August 2004 and brought us this report.

Living in a traditional English seaside, you would have thought my choice of playing a good pinball would be vast and wide. Unfortunately, my town (Bognor Regis) has run dry of the silver ball. Only a few years back there was at least 8 good pins to choose from – Addams Family, Fish Tales, Creature from the Black Lagoon were all in walking distance of each other. Even further back when I was a lad, long time ago, the likes of Eight Ball Deluxe, Silverball and Space Invaders were in town. In fact I cut my teeth on these and still hold good thoughts in my memory.

But alas, the Pins have gone!, so now for my regular fix, a drive along the coast is in order to satisfy my fingers needs. Yesterday a drive down to Hayling Island was in order. A fine sunny day, I headed straight for Funland. Good news on this occasion, parking was free. May be an “out of season” thing but I wasn’t complaining! After a quick walk around the fun fair – The drop ride from the Trocodero was being installed next to some very modern looking fairground rides – I headed in to the warmth of the arcade. On the back wall, a bank of 5 pins greeted me. Addams Family, Star Trek - TNG, Indiana Jones, Ted & Red’s Road Show and Demolition Man. Things looked good.

All pins were set on £1 for 4 plays with the exception of Indy Jones. 50p per play for Mr Jones.

I started by depositing 50p into Addams Family – The other half was with me – and on pressing the start button was greeted with the message “Pinball Missing”. A nice fellow came over who works at the arcade and said he didn’t know much about the pinballs as they and the video games, were supplied by a 3rd party. The arcade only owned the fruit machines. I offered to have a look for him and discovered the ball pop up from the right-hand side of the playfield wasn’t strong enough to eject the ball. Shame, but 1 down 4 to go.

Moved on to Indy Jones and played this for the first time ever! Didn’t like it, but couldn’t really put my finger on what was wrong with it. It just didn’t suit my style of play. It was however in perfect working order and felt like new.

While the other half was looking at all of the kids dancing on the latest dancing video machine, just behind the pins, (This must be the only form of exercise they get) I slipped some coins in Demolition Man. Between you and me this was my real reason for my trip. I had been offered one of these for a reasonable price a week earlier. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember how it played, so this was the ideal chance to find out. Either my eyes are going funny in my old age but this table seemed bigger along with the actual pinball itself. All was going well, the pinball although in a slightly dirty condition played very well. Soon I had the reply score and this was on my first credit. One thing that slightly spoilt the game was the unevenness of the pin. A slope to the right was evident but luckily the right hand channel isn’t that easy to lose the ball down. Still I was left in a 50-50 position about the table and although it gave me a good game, I wasn’t in love! with it.

Ted & Red’s was next and this was the best of the bunch! It played like a dream. Strong flippers, the lane switcher was working fine, voices are amusing, and it’s just a lovely pinball. I couldn’t fault it. I even let my other half win a game against me! Now this Pinball is now on my shopping list.

Last today was Star Trek - TNG. And unfortunately the right flipper was so weak the left-hand ramp shot could not be made. Shame.

Overall a good day out. If Addams & ST-TNG were in perfect working order, it would have been a great day. One thing that they could do before the season gets underway is to clean all the playfields and level the machines. If this happens I can see myself traveling to Hayling quite often this year. If you were thinking about a trip to the south coast and thought about Southsea, don’t go, drive to Hayling instead. Even the fun fair is looking better than Clarence Pier.

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